Cheryl Crosbie, Director of the Family and Children’s Services Education Unit at Holmesglen TAFE (Melbourne), believes that parents and carers can provide a harmonious physical environment that minimises the likelihood of biting and other aggressive behaviours. She says, “Young children explore the world in a physical way and biting is part of a repertoire of their behaviours at this stage.” While biting is not a normal or acceptable behaviour a child is more likely to bite others through frustration or anger if his needs are not met.

According to Cheryl children need plenty of physical space to move around and opportunities to explore. She says, “If a child hasn’t enough space to move around and an outlet for expressing his feelings in a physical way he is more likely to bite or display inappropriate behaviours.”

Young children also need plenty of opportunities for vigorous play and sensory stimulation through materials such as play-dough, water and sand.

Adequate adult supervision is an integral part of the young child’s environment. Cheryl says: “Adults provide a safety net for children even when they are playing. Carers and parents must satisfy children’s need for protection, safety and containment. They can also teach young children appropriate ways of getting what they want.”

A child’s individual tolerance for social contact needs to be considered. Cheryl says, “Sometimes we can crowd children by providing more social interaction than they can cope with.” While children need to learn to play with others they also benefit from spending time on their own.

By ensuring the environment meets a child’s developmental needs the likelihood of biting is reduced. However an adult’s reaction when the behaviour occurs can make a difference. As with all inappropriate behaviours it is important that parents and carers do not to react impulsively. While a behaviour such as biting may shock and even leave adults wanting to punish (particularly if their child is on the receiving end of a set of incisors) it is more effective to resist the temptation and remain in control. The focus should be on teaching appropriate behaviours and meeting the needs of both the child who is hurt and the child who bites.

When a youngster bites a playmate, friend or sibling parents and carers can:

• Let the child know that the behaviour is hurtful, but keep the verbal explanation brief. For instance, “Stop! That really hurts!” If necessary remove the child from the immediate area for a short time. A verbal message followed by removal can reinforce the fact that a child has behaved inappropriately.
• If appropriate offer the child an alternative to bite on. A teething ring for very young children or a frozen orange can be just the thing to satisfy the need to bite.
• Demonstrate your concern for the child who has been hurt. By offering comfort and care for the hurt child you are sending a strong message that you are not willing to over-service inappropriate behaviour.

There is little doubt that biting and other aggressive behaviours are difficult to deal with, particularly if we are looking for a quick-fix solution. They can also provoke a stronger than normal emotional reaction in adults. The focus for adults when dealing with young children should be on meeting their needs and showing them better ways of behaving, rather than reacting impulsively when they misbehave.

This article was written by popular parenting expert Michael Grose. For great ideas on how to raise kids visit www.parentingideas.com.au